brief moments

after worship a few weeks ago, i was heading up the aisle to leave, bible and notebook in hand.

i was lost in thought, in reflection, in my own circling worries and prayers and fears.

and he dashed down the aisle, through the crowd and slammed into me at my knees, hugging me so tight I almost toppled over, surprising me with his strength.

four-year-old boys are strong huggers.

all i could think was...

thank you Lord, for your mercy.

thank you for having mercy on me.

oh, thank you for loving me enough to meet me where I am.

thank you for using a four-year-old to remind me of your sweet mercy and grace.

mingling the muddled with Advent

we lit candles yesterday. not just the Advent wreath, although those two candles burned brightly as well.

but a line of members and visitors and strangers that approached the altar and lit a candle and spoke a name.

after communion we were invited to reflect on the reality that Advent brings us towards Christmas in anticipation. And that it also brings the knowledge that there are hurts tied up in the waiting as well. That we wait not only in joy, but also in sorrow. That in living, we know struggle and loss and the unexplained. And that sometimes the bright light of expected joy makes the rawness of the hurt that much more tender.

as i sat and watched the procession unfold, i couldn't help but give thanks for a congregation that is willing to give voice to this tension.

we light candles because we believe and we trust that God brings light to the darkness. we light candles because we trust that in Christ coming to dwell with us that we have been saved from the darkness. and we light candles because even as we struggle with the joy of Christmas and the sorrow of our hearts we pray that the hope of Christ would mend us.

Advent instructs us to wait and reflect and ponder the coming of Christ. To think about how the holy came to enter into our messy, broken world. That the baby wrapped in cloth took on the struggle of a sinful world.

All is not always calm. All is not always bright. And yet he comes to heal, to pick up our pieces and to love us for who we are and not who we are not.

This season I'm grateful that Advent is as much about the muddled things within us as it is about joy and peace.

where we are is where Advent meets us. just as it is with Christ.

reflecting

"Jesus knew that going into the barren and uncomfortable places isn't about proving how holy we are or how tough or how brave. It's about letting God lead us into a landscape where we don't know everything, don't have to know everything, indeed may be emptied of nearly everything we think we know. Giving ourselves to that place frees us to receive the word, the wisdom, the clarity about who we are and what God is calling us to do."

-pg. 142, In the Sanctuary of Women

I can't recommend this book enough.