misadventures in preaching

I could never totally remember my preaching schedule in Mongolia. Some weeks I was responsible for the children's sermon, some weeks the teenager's sermon, some weeks both, some weeks Sunday School.....I tried to keep track of what week was what and I usually managed to get it right. Or I at least managed to be cautious and prepare a sermon on weeks I thought I might have to give one. Always be prepared, right?

Until one Sunday I was sitting with the kids in the children's service and it came to sermon time and Ogii announced my name. Oi.

Racking my brain for something, anything I stood up, smiled and walked to the microphone to meet Dashka (who translated for me).

And then I talked. I talked about Thanksgiving in the US (it was near Thanksgiving) and told the "historical" story of the Native Americans and pilgrims. I managed to connect it to some biblical lessons (or tried) and then I sat down.

Knowing you have to give the sermon is usually the most important step to avoiding some of the possible preaching disasters.

But then again, sometimes there are things that just happen.

Like the other week when I was a guest at a church that happened to have a very early morning service. Just as I was beginning to preach, I heard a phone ringing in the congregation. As I kept talking and listening to the ringing that wasn't stopping, a growing sense of dread rose up in my throat.

It was my cell phone. My cell phone alarm that I had forgotten to turn off.

I internally debated what to do- Should I walk down into the pews and turn my phone off? (Ugh, how embarrassing!) Should I ignore it and pretend I don't hear it? WHAT DO I DO?

I ended up deciding to ignore it and pray it would shut up eventually. Which it did after fifteen looooooooong minutes of going off.

No one said a word about it even though I'm pretty sure they must have figured out it was mine.

I was horrified.

Today, I wore my Mongolian del for the first time in months. I slipped my black tights on, buttoned all of the little tricky clasps and headed to church.

As worship began I looked down and realized my tights need to be replaced. Right under the hemline of my del was a huge worn spot where you could clearly see there should be black tights material instead of a clear vision of my skin.

So then I had to stand-up and preach all the while knowing my tights were basically see- through.

At least maybe the traditional Mongolian dress distracted from the tights issue?

Note to self: prepare back-up sermons, double and triple check cell phone alarms and buy some new tights.