warren buffett what?

"A little cover-up on your Adam's apple will make it look smaller, which will make you look like less like a transvestite."

-Michael Scott to Gabe

(the office)

today is the "hallowed" weekend of the Berkshire Hathaway shareholder's meeting.

which to most people in the world means nothing but does mean something if you live in Omaha (or of course, own stock in the company).

or if you know who Warren Buffett is and how he is not the Michael Scott of the real world. although wouldn't that be fun if one of the most successful investors in the world was also absolutely ridiculous?

my co-workers bestowed upon me an event staff pass to the meeting (we get passes because one of Berkshire Hathaway's companies donates garden gloves to our urban gardening project and we get to collect all of the leftover gloves at the end of the event). it turned out that I didn't have to go help get the gloves, but that they thought it would be an interesting Omaha activity for me to partake in.

so with the learn-more-about-Nebraskan-culture goal in mind, I prepared for a day of warren buffett themed exploring.

point one: I am against paying for parking. This is because I am unashamedly cheap. So I parked at our office and walked the little less than 2 miles to the conference center. The weather was beautiful, I got to see more of downtown and I thought it was a win all the way around.

point two: I don't know what I expected, but I did not expect so many people. The arena was pretty full. Even more shocking, it was pretty full and everyone was just sitting there listening to two old white men talk into microphones. Not exactly a Beyonce concert if you know what I mean.

point three: finance speak is another language. it was however pretty amusing to spot those shareholders pretending to actually be finance people (and probably are) in their suits and then to contrast them with those clearly not trying and just walking around in their jeans and t-shirts.

point four: there's little like watching people buy concession food to listen to two old men talk about a huge corporation that makes billions of dollars a year to make you think about how absolutely bizarre America is. Really, people? We're going to eat popcorn while we watch the dog and pony show that is capitalism? Dear goodness.

point five: in an exhibit hall with such diverse companies represented, Dairy Queen will always be more popular than a deserted display on pipes or some other engineering thing. ($1 baby blizzards!) And people will pay $5 for a package of underwear. Or $20 for a strange teddy bear made especially for the Berkshire Hathaway weekend. Sorry, but I call that weird warren buffett.

point six: If you are currently in the throes of reverse culture shock, it is probably not wise to wander past the luxury RV display, where a couple is indeed in discussions with a salesman about purchasing an RV that costs THREE HUNDRED AND TWENTY THOUSAND DOLLARS. You will want to vomit up the $1 baby blizzard you just ate at the idea of that much money being spent on a pimped-out bus.

point seven: feeling no strong sense of guilt about leaving the shareholders meeting after an hour of wandering around is quite freeing. it means you can then go wander through Omaha and happen upon a health and wellness expo where you can get the hard sell for a portable mini massage thing that you don't want to buy. And then you can keep wandering until you get to the lawn of the old capital building and sprawl out on the grass...

.

and write letters coming to a mailbox near you

and wander back to your FREE parking spot as you pass the art museum.

and have an all-together pretty good day in Omaha.

which as it turns out, is probably something mr. warren buffett would appreciate.