365

last year at this time I was en route to the airport with my life packed into two large blue suitcases.

well, hello there one whole year of my life. where, o where have you gone?

into the crevasses of dirt roads that wind their way up steep hills, into the peaks of mountains and between the clouds.

into cold rooms and cups of tea and group devotions on sleepy mornings.

into loud gatherings at our apartment, complete with too much food and silly games.

into gers and fires and cooking together.

into singing and listening and worshiping and the beauty of Mongolian tumbling from my tongue into the void that is filled and shared by us all.

into tickle fights and chasing and basketball and little hands.

into the messiness of life and community and loving one another.

into tears and sadness and joy and celebration.

into falling and jumping, being blind and seeing more.

into little ones' voices and dancing in the cold kitchen.

into train rides and camp and splashing in rivers and climbing mountains.

into Cambodia and mission teams and kittens and snow.

into strangers, into friends, into family, into people who became those things.

into the place where I am both supposed to be and want to be.

a good 365 days indeed.

***

I fear sometimes in my desire to share the good that I gloss over the hard stuff. That in my excitement to write about what I'm learning and how grateful I am to get to know and work with my community here that I don't make it clear that it is not all roses and sunshine and fairy tales.

Or that I give the false impression that I have it together, that I have answers (I'm scoffing to myself even writing those words) or that I am somehow capable of the things God has placed before me.

Ha.

I look back on this past year and my heart is overwhelmingly filled with joy. Not because it has been easy or great all of the time. Not because I have it all figured out or am a missionary superstar who can do everything (or anything).

It is joy-filled because God has been so breathtakingly evident in every.single.part. of these past twelve months.

It has not been easy, it has not been without failure and hurt and grief. It has not been without falling apart and being put back together and falling apart all over again. It has been all of those things and more.

This year is leaving me ever more grateful for the call to be present to today. To the Holy Spirit's movements in our lives. To the good and the bad and the wonderful and the awful. To the hard stuff that makes the joy our sustenance.

To the wholeness of knowing that we are not our own but we are the children of the Faithful One.

That is a pretty dang good place for a year to go if you ask me.