those words we say

bayarlalaaaaaaaa...

I could pretend that I don't butcher the way of saying thank you every time it comes out of my mouth.

But the truth is that I still have a hard time with all of the sounds, the massive amounts of vowels involved in this one word and the tendency I have to drag on the a's at the end. Hence my dramatic adding of so many for the purpose of this post (It's really just "Bayarlalaa").

Nine months in and I'm still stumbling over the word "thanks."

Sometimes I don't think and I just say it and it sounds just like it should and I want to jump up and down in a victory celebration.

And sometimes I think too much and what comes out is something vaguely akin to nothing but Mongolish jibberish. At which point I can always tell the person looking at me is thinking, "Yes, it's true that English speakers have a hard time learning Mongolian."

Sometimes I really don't think and I say the wrong word all together. Substituting "bayartai" for "bayarlalaa" and saying good-bye instead of thanks.

Nine months in and I'm still the flawed, sinful human who showed up hoping that God would use all things for his good.

I'm still there, still hoping that my lack would become His abundance.

I'm still there, just a little more aware of how great his grace his, just a little (lot) more convinced that I can do nothing without surrendering everything and just a whole lot more willing to recognize that I am not the one doing anything in this situation.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

We say thanks and then we respond by extending an invitation.

You are welcome. You are welcome here.

You are welcome to come in- to my life, to this moment, to this situation, to this conversation, to this gift, to this relationship.

We say you are welcome and we let the gratitude become a bridge into life together.

We say you are welcome and we affirm that we don't give to receive but we give as a way of opening up the doors and inviting them in.

We say you are welcome and we express our gratefulness that their presence is a part of this moment.

bayaralalaa

zugeree

The Mongolian word for you're welcome is also used to mean "It's okay" and "Don't worry about it."

Thank you.

It's o.k.

Said with my Mongolish pronunciation, with all of the longing to say. it. right.

To express how deeply I am grateful. To express how deeply I have been moved by their grace. By their willingness to share. By their willingness to let me be in the midst of their lives.

thank you.

it's okay, my friend. you are welcome. don't worry about it.

our words hold the meanings of our hearts, if only we might speak them.

our words hold the power of our experiences, the glimpses of the divine and the moments that fill us, if only we might share them.

our words are ours to extend, to offer, to lift up.

imperfect. full of mistakes. full of stumbles and too many vowels. full of tendencies and mishaps and forgotten things.

and yet our offering just the same.

"I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them."
- Isaiah 42:16