There is nothing like an hour of yoga to force your body to physically unwind and relax.
I let yoga fall by the wayside this semester, but I've begun taking classes again these past few weeks and my goodness, I've missed it.
This past week has been a lot of the practice of releasing tension- physical, mental, emotional.
Graduation happened, with all of its required planning and organizing and celebrating.
Good-byes began, and I had to face the reality of transition and change once more.
School ended, and my need to study and write and do at all hours of all days ended with it.
Work began, along with the re-formation of the 40 hour work routine.
The waiting ended, and I GOT the job:-)
One downward dog at a time, I'm releasing myself into summer. A summer of friends and pool parties and weddings and hot Texas weather and arts festivals and farmers markets and long runs.
Stretching, balancing, focusing, enjoying...
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Sunday, May 17, 2009
And I confer upon you this degree...
Every long, formal academic ceremony needs moments of comic relief.
In the "official" commencement ceremony, it was Laura Bush admitting in her speech that she skipped her master's graduation and looked up the commencement speaker only to realize it had been her father-in-law.
In the foreign languages department ceremony, it was me marching in next to the 7 ft tall captain of the men's basketball team. Nothing makes you feel smaller than the presence of a guy who's graduation gown could cover you twice. We made a funny contrast as we stood to get our diplomas.
And in the Meadows School of the Arts ceremony, it was Dean Bowen's monologue about all of the technological advancements since our first year (Twitter was a noise birds used to make) and the chair of the journalism department's brief reassurance to our parents that they shouldn't believe everything they read in the media, because we will all get jobs.
Graduation gowns never get flattering and the silly caps never stop making everyone look ridiculous, but it was a gift to sit with close friends and have our degrees conferred upon us.
An even greater gift was the party we had afterwards, an effort that would have been impossible without all of our amazing friends and family who helped with set-up and food and clean-up. Becca and Syd answered my frantic plea to go to Wal-mart with me when we thought it might still downpour and there was no plan b. Stefi made signs and helped organize all of the tents. Alex cooked and schlepped tables and chairs. It was a communal effort in the truest sense, and all of us walked away in awe of the blessing of such a gift. The rain stopped just in time and all of our favorite people gathered in the courtyard to eat and laugh and talk.
This morning I woke up and ate leftover tortilla chips and seven-layer dip for breakfast. I may not be a college student anymore, but I can still eat like one:-)
Plans apart from the fact that I'll be in Dallas until at least August are still up in the air. Or more precisely, somewhere in the U.S. postal system. The email I received last week told me only that the letter containing either a job offer or a thanks-for-applying-but-we-aren't-hiring-you message has been in the mail for a few days. And so I'm trying not to stalk the mailbox and rationalize checking it at all hours of the day because maybe, just maybe the postman/woman will deliver the mail at 3 a.m. while I am sleeping.
Who said being an alumna made you rational?
In the "official" commencement ceremony, it was Laura Bush admitting in her speech that she skipped her master's graduation and looked up the commencement speaker only to realize it had been her father-in-law.
In the foreign languages department ceremony, it was me marching in next to the 7 ft tall captain of the men's basketball team. Nothing makes you feel smaller than the presence of a guy who's graduation gown could cover you twice. We made a funny contrast as we stood to get our diplomas.
And in the Meadows School of the Arts ceremony, it was Dean Bowen's monologue about all of the technological advancements since our first year (Twitter was a noise birds used to make) and the chair of the journalism department's brief reassurance to our parents that they shouldn't believe everything they read in the media, because we will all get jobs.
Graduation gowns never get flattering and the silly caps never stop making everyone look ridiculous, but it was a gift to sit with close friends and have our degrees conferred upon us.
An even greater gift was the party we had afterwards, an effort that would have been impossible without all of our amazing friends and family who helped with set-up and food and clean-up. Becca and Syd answered my frantic plea to go to Wal-mart with me when we thought it might still downpour and there was no plan b. Stefi made signs and helped organize all of the tents. Alex cooked and schlepped tables and chairs. It was a communal effort in the truest sense, and all of us walked away in awe of the blessing of such a gift. The rain stopped just in time and all of our favorite people gathered in the courtyard to eat and laugh and talk.
This morning I woke up and ate leftover tortilla chips and seven-layer dip for breakfast. I may not be a college student anymore, but I can still eat like one:-)
Plans apart from the fact that I'll be in Dallas until at least August are still up in the air. Or more precisely, somewhere in the U.S. postal system. The email I received last week told me only that the letter containing either a job offer or a thanks-for-applying-but-we-aren't-hiring-you message has been in the mail for a few days. And so I'm trying not to stalk the mailbox and rationalize checking it at all hours of the day because maybe, just maybe the postman/woman will deliver the mail at 3 a.m. while I am sleeping.
Who said being an alumna made you rational?
Monday, May 11, 2009
you throw like a wild hedgehog...
...or so goes the metaphor of a 7-year-old little boy playing monkey in the middle with his sister and babysitter.
Some thoughts from these time-warp days of finals where suddenly all there is to do all of the time is study and certainly, no one, especially not graduating seniors, wants to do that.
Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
-Philippians 4:4-7
Verse 6 is one of the verses I can remember memorizing during the time I was learning how to let go of my desire to worry about everything. It spoke (and still does) directly to my need to hear "Don't be anxious!"
But what strikes me now about this passage is verse 7.
And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
After we forgo worry and lay our requests and anxieties at the Lord's feet, he guards our hearts and minds and grants us peace.
And I don't think, or at least my experience has not been, that he gives us peace by always solving the problem or answering the question the way we want him to.
What meeting with him in prayer does is it gives him an opportunity to speak his truth into our lives- to move us and our hearts away from our selfish motives and human desires and lead us onto his path- the perfect path, the plan that cannot and will not leave us hurt because it is his.
The Lord guards us through the transformation of our hearts, that they might align with his will, ensuring that our peace comes not from the ways of the world, but the certainty of his faithfulness. And that is an incredible sense of peace, when we can allow ourselves to be shaped into it, letting go of our own plans and purposes and ideas and discovering his.
I'm working on it:-)
Some thoughts from these time-warp days of finals where suddenly all there is to do all of the time is study and certainly, no one, especially not graduating seniors, wants to do that.
Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
-Philippians 4:4-7
Verse 6 is one of the verses I can remember memorizing during the time I was learning how to let go of my desire to worry about everything. It spoke (and still does) directly to my need to hear "Don't be anxious!"
But what strikes me now about this passage is verse 7.
And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
After we forgo worry and lay our requests and anxieties at the Lord's feet, he guards our hearts and minds and grants us peace.
And I don't think, or at least my experience has not been, that he gives us peace by always solving the problem or answering the question the way we want him to.
What meeting with him in prayer does is it gives him an opportunity to speak his truth into our lives- to move us and our hearts away from our selfish motives and human desires and lead us onto his path- the perfect path, the plan that cannot and will not leave us hurt because it is his.
The Lord guards us through the transformation of our hearts, that they might align with his will, ensuring that our peace comes not from the ways of the world, but the certainty of his faithfulness. And that is an incredible sense of peace, when we can allow ourselves to be shaped into it, letting go of our own plans and purposes and ideas and discovering his.
I'm working on it:-)
Monday, May 4, 2009
communal solitude
"We recognize, then, that only as we are within the fellowship can we be alone, and only he that is alone can live in the fellowship. Only in the fellowship do we learn to be rightly alone and only in aloneness do we learn to live rightly in the fellowship."
-Pg 77-78 "Life Together" Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Sometimes all of the change and transition and waiting catches up to me.
I felt that way yesterday. I was off and others realized. My answer to the question "Are you o.k?" was an affirmative yes, but a silent "I think so" hung in the air, a second question to myself.
And I was just fine. I just needed to be quieter than normal, more reflective, more present than chatty. And my community let me do that.
They let me curl up on the couch after worship and watch them play video games and listen to the conversation.
I needed that solitude within fellowship. To be surrounded but to not say a word. To rest and to be restored. To practice what it means to find solitude while surrounded by people.
I am grateful, that on my last day of classes as an undergraduate, the Lord has brought me to this place.
Beloved, listen to me,
don't believe all that you see
and don't you ever let anyone
tell you that there's anything that you need,
but me.
-Beloved, Derek Webb
-Pg 77-78 "Life Together" Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Sometimes all of the change and transition and waiting catches up to me.
I felt that way yesterday. I was off and others realized. My answer to the question "Are you o.k?" was an affirmative yes, but a silent "I think so" hung in the air, a second question to myself.
And I was just fine. I just needed to be quieter than normal, more reflective, more present than chatty. And my community let me do that.
They let me curl up on the couch after worship and watch them play video games and listen to the conversation.
I needed that solitude within fellowship. To be surrounded but to not say a word. To rest and to be restored. To practice what it means to find solitude while surrounded by people.
I am grateful, that on my last day of classes as an undergraduate, the Lord has brought me to this place.
Beloved, listen to me,
don't believe all that you see
and don't you ever let anyone
tell you that there's anything that you need,
but me.
-Beloved, Derek Webb
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